


Mean Girls Chat Fic Because Why Not

by Whyyyyy



Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:53:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 12,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24065368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whyyyyy/pseuds/Whyyyyy
Summary: Janis creates a group chat and chaos ensues
Relationships: Cady Heron/Aaron Samuels (past), Cady Heron/Janis Sarkisian, Damian Hubbard/Aaron Samuels, Regina George/Gretchen Wieners, Regina George/Janis Sarkisian (past)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 64





	1. Chapter 1

rather_be_me has created the group chat 

rather_be_me has changed the name to "disaster gays"

rather_be_me: hello and welcome to my group chat

Regina_George: Janis, why?

gaymian: did regina just use proper capitalization and punctuation ajsndnfkeksnssnns

gretchthefetch: regina u killed damian 

rather_be_me: HOW DARE U REGGIE

caddy: as a raging bisexual i hereby protest the chat name

a-aron: seconded

gretchthefetch: im pan but yeah

sexy-mouse: lesbian emoji, straight couple emoji, question mark emoji, heart emoji!

gretchthefetch : she says her too

rather_be_me: fineeee

rather_be_me has changed the chat name to "disasters"

Regina_George: Okay, that's fair.

rather_be_me has changed Regina_George's name to Reginald

Reginald: I hate everything.


	2. Chapter 2

disasters, 1:37am

rather_be_me: guys I have a question 

rather_be_me: what is the purpose of plates?

Reginald: Janis, for the love of God, why are you awake right now?

rather_be_me: wHy ArE yoU?

Reginald: Jesus Christ.

rather_be_me: guys im serious tho, like what is the point of plates? You get them all dirty anyway and have to wipe down the table so why not just put the food on the table in the first place?

caddy: janis ily but what the actual fuck

rather_be_me: sWeaRiNg oN My GoOd cHrIstiAn seRvEr

Reginald: Janis, you may need help.

rather_be_me: HOW DRE U REGGIE

gaymian: dre

caddy: dre

Reginald: It's funny how Damian has been silent this whole time, but the second Janis makes a typo, he shows up to mock her.

rather_be_me: >:-0

gaymian: ew you put a nose on it

rather_be_me: r u saying u don't? disgusten 

Reginald: Emoticons in general are disgusting.

caddy: I put noses on them!

rather_be_me: see caddy gets it

caddy: <3

rather_be_me: :-)

gaymian: gay

Reginald: I ship it.

rather_be_me: shut the hell ur mouths


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting angsty people

gaymian >>> rather_be_me, 1:52 am

gaymian: jan u have to tell her at some point

rather_be_me: no idea what ur talking about 

gaymian: don't u play dumb Janis Sarkisian, I see right thru u

rather_be_me: ...

rather_be_me has blocked gaymian 

disasters, 1:55 am

gaymian: Y'ALL JANIS BETRAYED ME

caddy: y'all

gretchthefetch: y'all 

Reginald: Just when I thought I'd finally get to sleep.

caddy: Damian what happened 

gaymian: SHE BLOCKED ME

gretchthefetch: wow what'd u do

rather_be_me: wait tell damian I'll unblock him if he doesn't tell u

caddy: wait now I wanna know

gretchthefetch: me too!

rather_be_me has unblocked gaymian

rather_be_me: damian if u tell them I'll tell them every single secret you've ever told me

gaymian: ok wow harsh

gaymian: and what happened to u not knowing what I was talking about 

Reginald: Alright everyone, here's the deal. Either you shut the fuck up or I personally destroy you and everything you love.

rather_be_me: yeah guys, shut up already 

Reginald: Remind me why I'm friends with you. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the six and heathers references but I had to

disasters, 2:01 pm

gaymian: OMG GUYS

Reginald: Uh oh.

gretchthefetch: *british voice* here we go

a-aron: your comment went viral

rather_be_me: I didn't really mean it but rumors spiral

Reginald: I hate all of you with a burning passion in my soul.

gaymian: ANYWAY

gaymian: so I'm in english with cady 

rather_be_me: ooh this should be good

gaymian: and she's watching animal videos on mute under the table

gaymian: and the teacher comes up to her and goes, "miss Heron, is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

gaymian: and caddy just looks up and goes "nah, I'm good"

gretchthefetch: oh SHOOT

rather_be_me: I've taught her well

gaymian: and the teacher is PISSED, so she tries to take caddys phone but instead of letting her her have it she legit YEETS it across the room 

a-aron: wow I love one (1) woman 

gretchthefetch: what a queen we stan 

sexy-mouse: girl emoji, phone emoji, question mark emoji!!!

gretchthefetch: she wants to know if cady's phone is okay

gaymian: oh right! So the phone lands on the floor right by the teachers desk, but cady has like a military level phone case, so it survived with only one crack

gaymian: but now the teacher is like seriously mad and is chasing cady 

gaymian: but I got her phone back for her

gretchthefetch: omg I just saw cady running past my AP History classroom 

gretchthefetch: shezoom.jpg

a-aron: she looks so scared lol

rather_be_me: wait I'm right next door I'm gonna try to help her, gretchen can u create a distraction 

gretchthefetch: ok I left class I'm trying to hold up ms. mccoy but I think she knows what I'm doing 

gaymian: omg I can hear gretchen talking to her

gaymian: she's talking about... moby dick?

Reginald: Good lord, someone stop her, she's gonna blow it.

gaymian: k I'm leaving class now too 

rather_be_me: update; I'm with caddy and we're hiding in the supply closet

gaymian: k imma come find u guys before u start making out

rather_be_me: shut the hell ur mouth 

gretchthefetch: I didn't hear u deny it ;)

gaymian: gretchen!! You're alive

Reginald: Yes, thanks to me.

gretchthefetch: but we lost ms mccoy 

caddy: dw y'alls its allg damian got my phone back

rather_be_me: ur still gonna get detention tho

caddy: worth it ;-)))

Reginald: Janis, what have you done to this poor child?


	5. Chapter 5

operation cadnis, 3:26 pm

gaymian: hello and welcome to my sneaky gay chat

gretchthefetch: ooh I already like where this is going

gaymian: you'll notice that the only people who aren't on here are our dear friends janis and cady, who are both painfully unaware of how in love with each other they are

gaymian: so we're going to set them up

gretchthefetch: i am SO on board with this

a-aron: me too

Reginald: Really, Aaron? You want to help set your ex up with someone else?

a-aron: unlike you, reggie, i don't hold grudges against my exes

a-aron: like, for example, I could hold a grudge against you for leading me on even though you're a raging homosexual

a-aron: but i dont

gaymian: 911 ID LIKE TO REPORT A MURDER

Reginald: Shut up, Damian.

a-aron: anyway

a-aron: who else is in?

sexy-mouse: heart emoji, lesbian emoji, clapping emoji!!!

gretchthefetch: she says she's in

Reginald: So am I.

a-aron: really, reggie? you want to help set your ex up with someone else?

gaymian: WHAT

Reginald: Aaron, I am going to murder you.

gaymian: REGGIE DATED CADY?!?!

Reginald: First of all, it was Janis, not Cady. Second of all, we didn't really date, it was just a hookup.

gaymian: WHAT AHSODCVOSHWOSFHPOAEIFAEOERIGHIHT

a-aron: we broke damian's brain

gaymian: HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS

Reginald: Because we swore not to tell anyone.

a-aron: but reggie's a naughty bitch and she told me

Reginald: Which I deeply regret now.

gaymian: IM GONNA KILL JANIS

Reginald: I repeat those words to myself on a daily basis, but in this case that would be a terrible idea. First off, Janis would know that we were talking about her, and, more specifically, setting her up with Cady, and she would freak. Second, she would know that I told Aaron, and she would murder me. It would also ruin the whole thing with her and Cady, which is the point of all this.

a-aron: those are all valid points damian

gaymian: ugh fine

Reginald: Also, before any of you ask, no I do not have feelings for her anymore, it's been over a year. And it's obvious that she likes Cady now, so we can all just pretend this never happened.

gaymian: gladly.

disasters, 4:00 pm

gaymian: hey y'alls, whose coming to the sleepover tonight

rather_be_me: meeeeee

caddy: me too!

a-aron: sure i'm in

gretchthefetch: yay me too!

sexy-mouse: pride flag emoji, lesbian emoji, canon emoji, heart emoji, smiley emoji!

rather_be_me: ,,,what is she talking about

gretchthefetch: nothing

caddy: why the pride flag and lesbian emojis???

gretchthefetch: nothing, no reason

Reginald: You children need supervision, so I'm in too.

gaymian: cool

Reginald: Who needs a ride?

rather_be_me: meee

gretchthefetch: yeah me too

sexy-mouse: car emoji, shrug emoji

caddy: i need a ride!

a-aron: same here

Reginald: So, everyone. Grool.

gaymian: did reggie just say grool?!?!

Reginald: What can I say? Cady was right on the money with that word.

caddy: you guys are never going to let me live that down, are you?

rather_be_me: nope

caddy: grool

Reginald: Cady, I'm outside your house.

caddy: wow that was fast

caddy: ok we're coming

Reginald: We?

caddy: yeah janis is here with me

sexy-mouse: side eye emoji

rather_be_me: okay, karen's being rly weird, care to explain gretchen?

gretchthefetch: idk she's just weird sometimes 

Reginald: Okay, we're leaving Cady's house, on the way to pick you up, Gretchen.

gretchthefetch: grool

caddy: sToP

rather_be_me: aw caddy don't be embarassed

caddy: tHeN StOp MaKiNg FuN oF mE

rather_be_me: it's ok we don't rly mean it, it was just funny

caddy: ,,, okay

gaymian: gay

gretchthefetch: gay

a-aron: gay

rather_be_me: stfu

Reginald: We're at Gretchen's.

gretchthefetch: yeeto

Reginald: Never say that again.

gretchthefetch: this is panphobia

a-aron: hey can you guys pick me up next? i rly dont wanna be in my house right now

rather_be_me: what's wrong?

a-aron: my stepdad is being a biphobic asshole

caddy: aw im sorry

a-aron: he just doesn't get how i can like both girls and boys, he thinks im just confused

caddy: i feel u, my uncle always says the same thing

rather_be_me: aw bi solidarity I love it

Reginald: We're at Aaron's.

a-aron: cool thx guys

caddy: <333

gretchthefetch: kk karen's the last one

rather_be_me: go speedy reggie!

Reginald: I'm going as fast as I can.

a-aron: there's no way that 25 mph is as fast as u can

Reginald: What I meant was, I'm going as fast as I legally can.

rather_be_me: boring

caddy: regina don't listen to them

Reginald: I wasn't planning on it.

gaymian: y'all shouldn't text and drive

rather_be_me: YEAH REGGIE

Reginald: Janis, you're in the car with me. You can literally hear me doing voice text HI IT'S GRETCHEN stop it REGINA'S MADDDD Gretchen, I swear to god AIDDASOFRAOGIFOVBFOFF

sexy-mouse: wave emoji!

rather_be_me: we have aquired the karen

caddy: yeeto

gretchthefetch: we are forcibly removed from karen's house, on our way damian

gaymian: fucking finally.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I kinda went overboard with talking about the rejanis stuff in the last chapter so I had to balance it out with some cadnis in this one ;-)

operation cadnis, 4:53 pm

gaymian: ok bitches let's do this thang

Reginald: Damian, if you start using Kevin Gnapoor's slang, I will have to disown you.

gaymian: noted

disasters, 5:07 pm

gaymian: hey y'all I have an idea

gretchthefetch: we're in the same room as u why don't u just talk to us

gaymian: that's boring

gaymian: also no one would be able to hear me because JANIS won't turn down the music

rather_be_me: I'm sorry but candy store is a frickin bop

gretchthefetch: she has a point

gaymian: ANYWAY

gaymian: let's play truth or dare

rather_be_me: that's a terrible idea

rather_be_me: so I'm in

caddy: I'll play if janis is going to 

a-aron: gay

gaymian: dammit aaron I was gonna say it

a-aron: ;-)

sexy-mouse: pride emoji!!!

gretchthefetch: I... yeah she says gay

Reginald: Okay, I have one for Janis.

rather_be_me: let's hear it

Reginald: Alright, there's a lot of different versions of this game but the one that I usually play is where you give the other person a truth to answer and a dare to do and they have to pick which one to do. So my truth for Janis is: if you had to make out with anyone in this room, who would it be? And the dare is: choose someone in the room and make out with them.

gaymian: OOH DAMN

rather_be_me: this feels like I lose either way 

Reginald: It's truth or dare. You can't really win.

rather_be_me: aight imma do the dare

gaymian: holy shit

gretchthefetch: she did the dare alright

Reginald: Wow.

caddy: hello I'd just like to announce that was the best moment of my life

a-aron: gay

gaymian: gay

sexy-mouse: pride flag emoji!!

gretchthefetch: gay

Reginald: Gay.

caddy: I'm bi but go off I guess

rather_be_me: so caddy

rather_be_me: wanna be my girlfriend?

caddy: YES OMG

rather_be_me: cool

Reginald: This is disgustingly adorable

gretchthefetch: can I be set up with someone now?


	7. Chapter 7

disasters, 1:12 am

gaymian: caddy whyyyy

gretchthefetch: what's going on? im in the other room

gaymian: cady and janis decided it would be funny to blast music in my ears at 1 am

gretchthefetch: oh. yep, i can hear it thru the walls now

caddy: teehee

rather_be_me: hehehehehe

gaymian: now they're both jumping around like crazy people

a-aron: wow, i'm downstairs and i can hear the thumping above me

gaymian: yes, that would be janis's boots bc she REFUSES to take them off 

rather_be_me: they're my babies

gretchthefetch: i thought cady was ur baby

gretchthefetch: that's what you were yelling out the window an hour ago

rather_be_me: yeah true

sexy-mouse: zzzzzzzzzz

gaymian: gretch? translation?

Reginald: She says shut the fuck up so we can all sleep.

a-aron: why do i feel like regina is being passive aggressive

rather_be_me: because she usually is

Reginald: Sorry, what I meant was, SHUT UP RIGHT NOW OR I WILL STRANGLE YOU ALL.

gretchthefetch: yikes

a-aron: do i hear,,, singing?

gaymian: that would be janis and cady

Reginald: It's like they want me to kill them.

rather_be_me: AND YOU KNOWWWWW YOU KNOWWW YOU KNOWWWWWWWW

caddy: LIFE CAN BE BEAUTIFULLLLLLLL

a-aron: gretchen you owe me ten bucks

sexy-mouse: ???

gretchthefetch: we made a bet about how long it would take for janis and cady to make us regret setting them up

a-aron: gretch guessed 24 hours, I guessed less than 12

gaymian: to be fair though, they might have done this even if they weren't together

caddy: I LOVE JANISSSSS

gaymian: ok maybe not that

Reginald: I'm coming upstairs.

gretchthefetch: janis and cady y'all better run she's gonna kill u

caddy: OMG

caddy: JANIS JUST JUMPED OUT THE WIDOW ASHLIAUHFAERIUGERIGLU;IORG;FI

a-aron: widow

gaymian: widow

gretchthefetch: widow

caddy: stoppppp

gretchthefetch: is janis ok???

rather_be_me: yes, thanks for asking

caddy: well...

gaymian: she landed in a bush

rather_be_me: it was a very soft bush

caddy: is that why ur still sitting in it? or r u stuck?

rather_be_me: IM NOT STUCK

rather_be_me: i just rly like this bush

rather_be_me: it's my new best friend

gaymian: >:-0

Reginald: For the love of God, someone help Janis get out of the bush.

caddy: u aren't gonna kill us reggie?

Reginald: I don't think I need to. Based on the events of the last few minutes, I think you guys will probably end up accidentally killing yourselves.

gretchthefetch: ooh burn

a-aron: im gonna go help janis

rather_be_me: noooo dont i dont wanna leave my bush

gaymian: too bad. everyone outside.

rather_be_me: noo my bush!!

gretchthefetch: janis has been forcibly removed from the bush

gretchthefetch: janisbeingabducted.jpg

a-aron: damian and cady both look like they wanna strangle her lol

Reginald: Now that Janis is safely inside, everyone. Go. To. Sleep.

gretchthefetch: aye aye captain

rather_be_me: i miss my bush.


	8. Chapter 8

disasters, 12:52 pm

gaymian: uhhhh guys?

Reginald: What now?

gaymian: has anyone seen janis?

caddy: aren't you in the same math class as her?

gaymian: yeah but she's gone

gaymian: i looked away for 2 seconds while mrs. norbury was writing smthg on the board and when i looked back she was gone

gretchthefetch: ooh damn she bolted

caddy: wait i just saw her run past my classroon

caddy: runningaway.jpg 

Reginald: Good lord, is it really that hard to be a good student?

rather_be_me: yes, yes it is

caddy: janis where r u

rather_be_me: in the gym

Reginald: Why? Why the gym? Are you trying to get caught?

rather_be_me: it's all about the chase reggie

Reginald: Good lord. 

gaymian: mrs norbury know janis is gone

gaymian: she's calling the office

gaymian: scaryteacher.jpg

a-aron: she just looks tired tbh

gaymian: janis run

gaymian: mrs norbury sent mr duvall after you

sexy-mouse: caution emoji!!!

rather_be_me: k im going outside

rather_be_me: Hello everyone, this is Principal Duvall. I would greatly appreciate it if you would all stop trying to cut class, considering none of you ever actually succeed and it makes my day harder. Thank you.

gretchthefetch: screenshotted

a-aron: im gonna need some ice for that burn

caddy: do you guys hear that

gaymian: is that janis,,, singing dead girl walking?

gretchthefetch: wow we stan a legend

gretchthefetch: TheDeadGirlWalking.jpg

a-aron: did mr duvall handcuff her?

Reginald: No, but I think he has her arms pinned behind her back

sexy-mouse: music note emoji!!!

gretchthefetch: she says janis has a good singing voice

gaymian: aw gay

caddy: eXCuSe mE

gaymian: whoops sry caddy

gretchthefetch: wait can we back up to the part where mr duvall said we never succeed at skipping?

gaymian: yeah that was RUDE

caddy: we gotta prove him wrong

a-aron: bad idea

a-aron: but im in

Reginald: I'll come, but only because you need supervision.

gaymian: ok y'alls, we're skipping tmrw

rather_be_me: HELL YEAH WE ARE

caddy: wHaT 

caddy: how'd u get ur phone back

rather_be_me: im a criminal mastermind

Reginald: Yeah, I can already tell this is going to be a disaster.


	9. Chapter 9

disasters, 12:35 pm

rather_be_me: alrighty y'alls lets do this thang

caddy: hell yeah

Reginald: The rest of us are already in my car waiting for you guys.

rather_be_me: wHaT

caddy: bitch

rather_be_me: EXCUSE

caddy: relax babe i was talking to reggie

gaymian: janis sarkisian and cady heron if u dont get ur lazy asses over here in the next ten mintes we're leaving without u

a-aron: mintes

gaymian: SHUT UP AARON

a-aron: i feel attacked

gretchthefetch: i see them

gaymian: is cady,,, riding piggyback on janis????

sexy-mouse: heart emoji!!!

Reginald: Disgusting.

gretchthefetch: janis and cady have entered the vehicle

rather_be_me: aight let's goooo

caddy: yeeto

rather_be_me: caddy ily but if u ever say that again i will Break Up With You

caddy: noooo pls im sorryyyy

gaymian: anyway

gretchthefetch: where r we going

Reginald: The mall hi everyone it's gretchen we know gretch we're literally in the car with you shut up janis both of you shut up or i will make you wish you'd never been born ooh damn savage shut up aaron

gaymian: so... the mall

caddy: correctomundo

a-aron: cady you legit scare me sometimes

caddy: aszohwhdwihqrrf;oirf;oia;ovifv

rather_be_me: we need music

a-aron: janis why

gaymian: dont diss heathers aaron its a BOP

rather_be_me: FREEEEEZZZEEEE YOURR BRAIINNNN

gretchthefetch: regina says to tell all of you in the back that we're at the mall 

caddy: yeeto

rather_be_me: caddy we've talked about this

caddy: whoops


	10. Chapter 10

disasters, 1:12 pm

rather_be_me: so guys

a-aron: oh god

rather_be_me: funny story

Reginald: Janis, what have you done?

rather_be_me: whaaaat? nothing

gretchthefetch: just tell us what happened

rather_be_me: ok but for the record caddy and damian totally started it

Reginald: Might this have anything to do with the chaos happening at the other end of the store?

rather_be_me: possibly

gaymian: probably

caddy: yep definitely

gretchthefetch: we left you guys alone in the food court for literally five minutes WHAT HAPPENED

rather_be_me: so caddy and damian got into an argument about tv shows and it got kinda heated

rather_be_me: so caddy dumped her iced tea on his head

caddy: im sorry but he insulted the good place!!! 

a-aron: damian you monster

gaymian: shut up aaron

rather_be_me: sooo anyway damian got pissed and started throwing french fries at her and they started to have a mini food fight

Reginald: There's more, isn't there?

rather_be_me: unfortunately

rather_be_me: i started commentating their food fight and being my usual hilarious self, but then they turned on me and i had no choice to fight back, and now basically we destroyed the food court and the mall people are yelling at us

gretchthefetch: good lord

rather_be_me: so now we're making a run for it

Reginald: Okay, head for my car. The rest of us will meet you there in about five minutes.

caddy: yeeto

gaymian: NOT NOW CADY


	11. Chapter 11

disasters, 1:34 pm

Reginald: Okay everyone, we obviously can't go back inside the mall because they now want Janis dead. So where to next?

rather_be_me: um excuse me but caddy and damian started it I was just an innocent bystander 

gaymian: nice try, Sarkisian

caddy: yeah u did bad stuff too

Reginald: ANYWAY, where do you children want to go?

sexy-mouse: tv emoji!!!

gretchthefetch: karen,,, sweetie,,, the movie theater is inside the mall

a-aron: **sweaty

gaymian: shut up aaron 

caddy: damian don't be so mean to aaron 

gaymian: we have a love-hate relationship 

rather_be_me: gay

gretchthefetch: gay

Reginald: While all of this is super fun, no one has answered my question.

rather_be_me: I have an idea yalls

Reginald: This never ends well.

rather_be_me: let's go to reggies house and play with all her expensive stuff

Reginald: Oh look at that, I was right.

gretchthefetch: I'm in

caddy: me tooooo

gaymian: same

a-aron: same

gaymian: stop copying me aaron 

rather_be_me: once again, gay

gretchthefetch: ^

Reginald: We are not going to my house just so that you ridiculous imbeciles can break all of my stuff.

rather_be_me: awwww pleeeeeeaassseeeeee reggie 

caddy: pwease weggie????

Reginald: If you think this is helping, you're even dumber than I thought.

gretchthefetch: aw come on regina, what's the worst that could happen?

Reginald: A lot of things. But fine.

a-aron: notice how regina said no when janis and cady asked, but when gretchen pleaded with her she relented 

gretchthefetch: shut up aaron 

gaymian: see? he's annoying 

Reginald: Can all of you useless gays please shut up and get in the car before I rethink my decision?

gretchthefetch: pan

a-aron: bi

caddy: bi

sexy-mouse: question mark emoji!

rather_be_me: shh don't make her change her mind yalls

Reginald: Yep, I'm definitely going to regret this.


	12. Chapter 12

disasters, 2:02 pm

Reginald: JANIS SARKISIAN 

a-aron: uh oh what happened now

Reginald: I can HEAR you and Cady in there, and if you break anything you will die.

gretchthefetch: wait im downstairs someone pls tell me what's happening 

Reginald: Janis and Cady are inside my parents bedroom doing god-knows-what, and they locked the door so I can't go in and stop them from breaking anything.

rather_be_me: relax reggie we were just making out

gaymian: did i just hear a crash

caddy: whoops

rather_be_me: caddy knocked a vase over but it's allg nothing's broken 

Reginald: Get. Out.

a-aron: jealous much reggie?

rather_be_me: tf is that supposed to mean?

Reginald: Aaron I swear to God.

a-aron: im not scared of u

rather_be_me: seriously, what is going on?

a-aron: reggie told us that you and her hooked up

rather_be_me: WhAT???

Reginald: Technically I told Aaron and he told everyone else.

rather_be_me: fuck the details, imma kill a bitch

caddy: babe calm down

gretchthefetch: wait cady, aren't you surprised by this?

caddy: nah janis told me when we first started dating 

Reginald: See, I'm not the only one who told.

rather_be_me: it's not the same

rather_be_me: I told cady because she deserved to know if we were going to be together 

rather_be_me: you told your ex for no reason and then the two of you continued to blab

Reginald: I know. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.

gaymian: uhhh are all of you seeing this

a-aron: reggie's apologizing!!

Reginald: Shut up, it's not like I've never apologized to Janis before, I apologized to her last year for all the shit I put her through in middle school.

Reginald: That also happened to be the same day we hooked up.

gaymian: omg so much makes sense now

rather_be_me: shut up, all of you. regina I accept your apology but for the record I am 100% in love with caddy now so don't get any ideas

Reginald: It's all good. I don't like you that way anymore either.

a-aron: are you suuuuuurreeee reggie 

Reginald: For the love of God, Aaron, yes! I like someone else now!

gretchthefetch: wHaT

a-aron: do you tho

Reginald: if I tell you who it is will you stop trying to ship Janis and I?

gaymian: ooh the plot thickens

a-aron: yes but you have to tell all of us

Reginald: Fine. I like Gretchen.

caddy: HOLY SHIT

rather_be_me: wow I feel god in this chilis tonight 

gaymian: gretchen'sface.jpg

caddy: aw gay

gretchthefetch: uh regina?

Reginald: Yes?

gretchthefetch: be gay with me pls

Reginald: Gladly.

a-aron: wait gretchen aren't u technically pan tho?

gretchthefetch: shut up aaron


	13. Chapter 13

sneaky gays, 5:00 pm

rather_be_me: listen up y'alls

rather_be_me: damian is into aaron

rather_be_me: and i'm a good friend

rather_be_me: so we're gonna set them up

Reginald: Oh my God.

rather_be_me: ???

Reginald: This is literally exactly what Damian did when he wanted to set up you and Cady.

caddy: um wHaT

rather_be_me: you guys tried to set us up before we got together???

Reginald: Correction: we succeeded in setting you up, and that's the reason you're together. Remember the dare?

rather_be_me: oh

caddy: so many things make sense now

rather_be_me: AnYwAy

rather_be_me: back to the damian and aaron thing

gretchthefetch: are you sure this is a good idea janis? what if it backfires?

rather_be_me: come on it can't be that hard

gretchthefetch: we don't know if aaron likes damian back tho, it could end rly badly if he doesn't

rather_be_me: ok i kinda see your point 

rather_be_me: but

rather_be_me: we should still encourage it at least

rather_be_me: because I dont think i can deal with damian moaning about how single he is for much longer

gretchthefetch: oh big mood

disasters, 5:18 pm

rather_be_me: okay i just need to say something

gaymian: uh oh

gaymian: wait let me guess

gaymian: you're breaking up with cady

caddy: >:-0

rather_be_me: NO NEVER I LOVE YOU CADDY ASHALOAHDVIEFBIVER;OGGERIEROG

caddy: aw ily too <333

gaymian: ugh i feel so single rn

rather_be_me: oh right, that's what i was gonna say

rather_be_me: i hereby publicly endorse a relationship between damian hubbard and aaron samuels

Reginald: Very subtle, Janis.

rather_be_me: i try

gaymian: janis wtf

rather_be_me: im just saying that if you're so sad about being single, date aaron

rather_be_me: it's not that hard

caddy: yes preach

gretchthefetch: i hereby second janis's endorsement

caddy: meee tooooo

sexy-mouse: pride flag emoji, heart emoji, smiley emoji!!!!

gaymian: i hate you all

Reginald: But I don't hear you denying anything.

gretchthefetch: she makes a solid point

a-aron: hey y'alls what's up

caddy: scroll up aaron!!!

gaymian: no aaron, do not scroll up, do anything BUT scroll up

a-aron: im scrolling up

Reginald: Here we go.

a-aron: ok im all caught up

rather_be_me: and????

a-aron: wdym

caddy: what do you think?

a-aron: i plead the fifth

gretchthefetch: you cant plead the fifth in a group chat, that's just like, the rules of group chats!!!

a-aron: are you saying that group chats are a place where our constitutional rights don't exist

gretchthefetch: yes, that's exactly what i'm saying

a-aron: damn

gaymian: then i'm leaving this group chat

rather_be_me: no idts

rather_be_me has locked the chat

rather_be_me: now you have to talk about your feelings

gaymian: no

rather_be_me: yeah

gaymian: ok

rather_be_me: thank you

gaymian: aaron, do you want to go out with me?

a-aron: ,,,

a-aron: yes

gretchthefetch: SCREENSHOTTED

rather_be_me: you're welcome guys

caddy: *gays

a-aron: EXCUSE

caddy:*mlm

a-aron: better

sexy-mouse: caucasian thumbs up!!!


	14. Chapter 14

disasters, 10:00 am

rather_be_me: happy saturday y'alls

rather_be_me: how is everyone on this fine, fine morning?

a-aron: janis r u okay

gaymian: she doesn't know the meaning of the word okay

rather_be_me: i'm with caddy right now and she's being very cute and my gay brain is having a hard time handling it

rather_be_me: caddymakingpancakes.jpg

gretchthefetch: "janis why are you filming me i'm not even doing anything interesting" "everything you do is interesting to me" wow this is too pure i can't handle it adhfa;egrkjgna;kknwwkjw

rather_be_me: well you might not wanna say that just yet bc she just threw a pancake at me

caddy: in my defense she wouldn't stop filming me

rather_be_me: EXCUSE ME

rather_be_me: IS IT A CRIME TO WANT TO HAVE VIDEO FOOTAGE OF YOUR GF BEING ADORABLE SO THAT PEOPLE WILL BELIEVE YOU WHEN YOU SAY YOU HAVE THE BEST GF EVER?

rather_be_me: NO IT IS NOT

caddy: ok that's valid im sorry

rather_be_me: it's okay ily

caddy: ily too <333

gretchthefetch: omg this is too cute ashfofhaljfb;ufiuafjheifabjlrfierurfhlfweawiuhcoewf

Reginald: Congratulations, guys, you broke my girlfriend.

gaymian: *gays

a-aron: AHEM

caddy: EXCUSE YOU

gaymian: help im being attacked by the angry bisexuals

gretchthefetch: mood

rather_be_me: GUYS I JUST HAD AN IDEA

Reginald: Uh oh.

gaymian: *gays

caddy: WHAT DID WE JUST SAY DAMIAN

gaymian: *not straights

caddy: better

rather_be_me: we should all go on a triple date!!!!

a-aron: ooh good idea

gaymian: yeah im in

Reginald: I'm failing to see how this would be any different than when we usually hang out, but sure, whatever.

gretchthefetch: what about karen tho?

sexy-mouse: I'm ace!!!

rather_be_me: omg

caddy: did karen just type actual words

gaymian: and use proper grammar and spelling

a-aron: wow i feel god in this chilis tonight

gretchthefetch: wait, karen, is that what you meant all those times you used emojis to express your sexuality?

sexy-mouse: caucasian thumbs up!!!

rather_be_me: that's our girl


	15. Chapter 15

disasters, 11:11 am

caddy: GUYS IT'S 11:11

rather_be_me: MAKE A WISH Y'ALLS

gaymian: i wish you two would shut up

caddy: >:-0

rather_be_me: how dare you misuse the sacred magic of 11:11 aaron

Reginald: You know that it happens twice a day, right? It's not that special.

*caddy has left the chat*

rather_be_me: LOOK WHAT YOU DID REGGIE

*rather_be_me has added caddy to the chat*

caddy: janis nooo i dont wanna

rather_be_me: sorry babe, no one leaves my groupchat

*rather_be_me has locked the chat*

rather_be_me: anyway

rather_be_me: where do y'all want to go for our triple date?

Reginald: You mean, when we hang out just like always, but minus Karen?

gaymian: she makes a solid point jan

rather_be_me: this is lebophobia

a-aron: lebophobia

gaymian: lebophobia

gretchthefetch: lebophobia

rather_be_me: dear diary: whyyyyyyy

caddy: janis ily but you need to stop quoting heathers all the time

rather_be_me: why are all my friends so mean

rather_be_me: oh wait this isn't google

sexy-mouse: eyeroll emoji

gretchthefetch: wow she didn't even use exclamation marks

Reginald: Janis has accomplished the impossible; making Karen annoyed.

rather_be_me: i'm talented that way

gaymian: yep that's valid

rather_be_me: so do y'all want to go to the mall

caddy: janis...

gaymian: sweaty...

rather_be_me: ???

caddy: the mall people want us dead, remember?

rather_be_me: ohhhh rightttt hahhahahah

Reginald: I'm failing to see what makes that funny, but alright. Should we just go get pizza or something instead?

gretchthefetch: ooh ya pizza sounds good

gaymian: yeha let's do it

rather_be_me: yeha

caddy: yeha

a-aron: yeha

Reginald: Are you all agreeing, or are you just mocking Damian?

a-aron: both

gaymian: >:0

a-aron: whoops sorry

rather_be_me: i would just like to say that i still think emojis look disgusting without noses

caddy: seconded

Reginald: And I still think that all emoticons are stupid. Janis, I'm outside your house.

rather_be_me: huh?

Reginald: Well I assume that all of you lazy gays need rides to the pizza place, therefore I decided to get a head start on things.

rather_be_me: and here i was thinking that reggie hated this idea

Reginald: I don't have to give you a ride, you know.

rather_be_me: wait no caddy and i are coming

caddy: y-

gretchthefetch: don't say it cady

caddy: ye-

gaymian: stop right there

caddy: yee-

rather_be_me: caddy we're begging you

caddy: yeeto

a-aron: oh cady

gaymian: you terrible, terrible little bisexual

caddy: sorry i had to

rather_be_me: we know, babe

Reginald: Dear Diary: whyyyyyyy

caddy: :-0

gretchthefetch: did regina just - 

gaymian: quote heathers?

Reginald: Oh, get over yourselves. Yes, I did.

rather_be_me: this is the proudest moment of my life


	16. Chapter 16

disasters, 12:43 pm

rather_be_me: so 

rather_be_me: rate our triple date on a scale of one to ten?

gretchthefetch: is ten good or bad

rather_be_me: good

Reginald: Well, considering it went literally the exact same way it always does when we hang out, i.e. Damian and Janis and Cady arguing about something, Janis pulling some possibly-illegal shit and getting us kicked out, and then everyone running to MY car for safety, I'd rate it a negative ten.

rather_be_me: rude

gaymian: but also kinda accurate

caddy: i'd rate it a fifteen!

a-aron: and people call u a math genius

caddy: shut up aaron

gretchthefetch: why fifteen cady? we literally got kicked out of a pizza place, that's an all time low

caddy: yeah but janis was there so that automatically makes it an amazing experience

gaymian: awwwww gay

caddy: that's my point 

rather_be_me: and caddy's bi thank u very much damian

caddy: awww thx babe

rather_be_me: <333

gretchthefetch: omg so pure

Reginald: Ugh, stop. 

sexy-mouse: ???

gretchthefetch: karen wants to know what happened

Reginald: Excellent question, Karen. Janis? Care to explain?

rather_be_me: this feels like a trap

Reginald: It is.

rather_be_me: cool, glad we're on the same page

rather_be_me: basically damina insulted caddy for getting pineapple pizza bc he thinks it's an abomination, and for once caddy actually agreed w him bc turns out she didn't even order pineapple

a-aron: damina

rather_be_me: shut up aaron

a-aron: sorry heather

rather_be_me: ok i appreciate the heathers reference but seriously shut up

Reginald: Anyway, Janis, I believe you have a story to finish.

rather_be_me: im working on it reggie, geeeezzz

gaymian: yeah reggie, geeezzz

gretchthefetch: aaron is rly rubbing off on u, huh damian

a-aron: we've become one person

gaymian: nice try. we wont be the same person until i get you to like hamilton

rather_be_me: while this is all super fun, especially the shocking news that aaron is a hamilton hater, im still telling my story

caddy: let janis talk guys

rather_be_me: thx babe

rather_be_me: anyway, so after we figured out that they gave caddy the wrong order, i went up to the counter to yell at them, and the guy was being super mean

gaymian: no he wasn't

rather_be_me: he called me an emo weirdo who didn't know what she was talking about!!!

gretchthefetch: ...

a-aron: ...

gaymian: ...

rather_be_me: oh shut up

rather_be_me: so i may or may not have dumped parmesan cheese on the guy's head

rather_be_me: and told him to fuck off

rather_be_me: and implied that he had a tiny dick

sexy-mouse: facepalm emoji!!!

caddy: she was actually kinda badass about it

Reginald: But that doesn't change the fact that she got us kicked out.

rather_be_me: sorry i was just being an upstanding person

gaymian: that is not the first time you've used that excuse

rather_be_me: its a good excuse man

a-aron: she has a point

gaymian: shut up aaron

a-aron: wow even my bf is mean to me

gaymian: sorry, old habits

a-aron: it's ok <333

gaymian: <3333

sexy-mouse: eyeroll emoji

Reginald: Karen Smith, saying what we were all thinking.

sexy-mouse: clapping emoji!!


	17. Chapter 17

disasters, 11:46 pm

rather_be_me: ruin a musical by changing one letter

gaymian: come again?

rather_be_me: i saw it on tiktok

rather_be_me: change one letter of a musical's title and it becomes smtg else entirely

Reginald: Against all odds, I know what she's talking about, and it's actually pretty funny.

gretchthefetch: woah that's a first

sexy-mouse: clapping emoji!!!

rather_be_me: well? anyone got a good one?

caddy: me more chill

gretchthefetch: feathers

a-aron: runt

gaymian: sex

rather_be_me: damian wHaT

gaymian: six!! can be changed to sex

gretchthefetch: whaaaa

caddy: omg that's hilarious

rather_be_me: wby reggie? got one?

Reginald: It's too late at night for this.

gretchthefetch: oh come on babe

rather_be_me: u were the one who said it's funny

Reginald: ...

Reginald: Fear Evan Hansen

a-aron: ...

gaymian: :0

caddy: heheheheheeee

rather_be_me: omg im so proud of my children

rather_be_me: also damian srsly ur killing me with those emojis

gaymian: i thought we agreed to disagree

rather_be_me: that doesn't mean i like the noseless ones any better

a-aron: noseless?

rather_be_me: shut up aaron

Reginald: Hey, I just had a great idea.

caddy: what?

rather_be_me: careful, caddy, i think she's gonna be mean

Reginald: My idea is that you all shut up and go the fuck to sleep before I kill you.

rather_be_me: so predictable, reggie

gretchthefetch: or janis is a mindreader

rather_be_me: that too

gaymian: maybe janis and regina just have a spiritual connection that transcends the mortal realm

a-aron: they're soulmates :000

caddy: EXCUSE YOU

gretchthefetch: RUDE

gretchthefetch: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT WHEN I SAID JANIS WAS A MINDREADER

caddy: SO KINDLY STOP SHIPPING OUR GFS

a-aron: wow i feel attacked

rather_be_me: i can't decide whether to be angry that im being shipped with reggie again or happy that my gf cares so much about it

a-aron: why you mad? why you sad? when you could be... glade

gaymian: aaron... it's dead. don't try to bring it back

a-aron: now im sad

rather_be_me: mood


	18. Chapter 18

disasters, 5:04 pm

caddy: 1 rabbit saw 9 elephants while going to the river. Every elephant saw 3 monkeys going to the river. Each monkey had 1 tortoise in each hand. How many animals are going to the river?

rather_be_me:1

caddy: nopeeee

rather_be_me: what!!!

rather_be_me: ohhh wait

rather_be_me: nvm i read it wrong

Reginald: Sure you did.

rather_be_me: no i swear the words changed

rather_be_me: no it's actually scary

rather_be_me: i thought it said going down

rather_be_me: and then they just got all jumbled up

rather_be_me: so i thought some said down and some said to

gaymian: janis WHAT

a-aron: none of what u just said makes sense

rather_be_me: idk

rather_be_me: and then i thought that caddy was being satanic and making me do math and then the answer was simple

gretchthefetch: im actually legitimately scared for janis's mental health rn

Reginald: The answer's ten, in case anyone was wondering.

caddy: what how did u figure it out that fast

Reginald: Well, while Janis was spouting a bunch of bullshit at us, I was actually thinking, and I realized that it's really more of a grammar trick than a math one.

gaymian: i still dont get it but i've stopped caring so

caddy: rude

gretchthefetch: i still don't understand how janis got 1

gaymian: she just has a very smol brain

rather_be_me: if you listen really hard u can hear it rattling around in my head

gretchthefetch: janis,,, sweetie,,, u just roasted yourself

rather_be_me: hmm oh yeah ig i did

gaymian: see what i mean?

rather_be_me: oh fuck u damian

gaymian: :0000

Reginald: It's actually been proven that using swear words is a sign of low intelligence.

caddy: that's definitely not true

gaymian: don't turn judgy catholic on us now, reggie

Reginald: I pray every day to a God I don't believe in that you will all stop being so weird.

rather_be_me: she's lying she loves us

caddy: at least we never bore you, regina

Reginald: Well that's for sure.


	19. Chapter 19

disasters, 10:04 am

rather_be_me: GUYS

Reginald: JANIS.

gretchthefetch: uh oh janis what happened

rather_be_me: so we were putting sunscreen on

Reginald: Stop. Who, when, where, and what?

rather_be_me: me and caddy and damian, yesterday afternoon, at the pool, putting on sunscreen

Reginald: Good. You may continue.

rather_be_me: thx mom

rather_be_me: anyway damian wrote disaster lesbian across my back in sunscreen

Reginald: As one does.

rather_be_me: and since im pale as fuck it actually stayed and now i have disaster lesbian reverse branded into my back

gretchthefetch: oh honey

a-aron: im trying rly hard not to laugh rn but the struggle is real

caddy: for the record she's totally exaggerating

rather_be_me: eXcUsE

caddy: i'm just saying, damians handwriting sucks so u can barely tell what it says anyway

gaymian: eXcUsE

caddy: it's true!!! it looks like a fourth grader wrote it

gaymian: its hard to write in sunscreen ok

Reginald: Let me get this straight. Janis, you just sat there while he wrote insults on your back

rather_be_me: well why do u think his handwriting looks so bad

rather_be_me: and anyway i didn't know what he was writing

Reginald: You trust Damian way too much.

gaymian: it's true

a-aron: sorry but can we see a pic of this

caddy: yes one sec

rather_be_me: CADDY NO

caddy: itriedbutsheranaway.jpg

caddy: well that's part of her back anyway

gretchthefetch: it just looks sunburnt lmao

rather_be_me: yes it's very painful

Reginald: Where are you guys, anyway?

rather_be_me: don't ask questions you don't want the answers to reggie

gaymian: the hell does that mean

rather_be_me: that we're at caddy's house and there's a reason i dont have a shirt on

Reginald: Gross.

rather_be_me: i did warn you

Reginald: Fair.

sexy-mouse: !!! book emoji, pencil emoji, questioning emoji!!!

gretchthefetch: oh good point karen

rather_be_me: what did she say?

gretchthefetch: she wants to know why you guys arent at school

rather_be_me: I've Already Said? we're at caddy's

gaymian: um janis school is not optional 

rather_be_me: but it's senior skip day!!!

gretchthefetch: wait it is

rather_be_me: am i really the only one who's been looking forward to this day since eighth grade?

Reginald: Yes.

rather_be_me: huh

gaymian: well guys, why are WE still at school

gretchthefetch: bc we're good students

rather_be_me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

caddy: good one gretch

a-aron: guys cmon let's get out of here already

Reginald: No. We've already missed about a week's worth of classes this year. It may be official ditch day but I think we've used up ours already. And besides, I have the car, so you all have to listen to me.

rather_be_me: she raises a solid point...

rather_be_me:...but jokes on you reggie bc i have my moms car today

gaymian: fucking BOOM

a-aron: boom roasted

gaymian: we love our office references

rather_be_me: so reggie you can either let us use your car or we'll just go have fun without you

gaymian: oof

gretchthefetch: what's it gonna be regina

Reginald: You guys have turned my girlfriend against me.

caddy: sorry not sorry

Reginald: Hell no. We are not doing the Six thing again. Fine. I will drive you. Those who are here right now, meet me outside the school in ten minutes. Janis and Cady, we'll come pick you up.

rather_be_me: whoops better get dressed

Reginald: Lord help us all.


	20. Chapter 20

disasters, 10:34 am

Reginald: Okay, where do you idiots want to go?

gretchthefetch: the mall!

Reginald: We can't, remember? Janis turned every single mall employee against us.

gretchthefetch: oh yeah

rather_be_me: aCtUaLly

gaymian: don't bother jan no one cares

rather_be_me: >:-00000

sexy-mouse: pizza emoji!!!

gretchthefetch: karen,,, sweetie,,, janis turned the pizza place against us too

rather_be_me: you guys do know that there's more than one pizza place in chicago, right?

gaymian: yeah but they probably all conspire

a-aron: pizza place solidarity

a-aron: they all warn each other about the scary lesbians that come attack their employees

Reginald: As ridiculous as that is, I'm going to have to veto pizza because noooo regina whyyyy gretchen stop it let me finish regina's being mean good lord hiiiiii aaron why hahahahah omigod SHUT UP. Thank you. I have to veto pizza because all the ones that we haven't been banned from are like an hour away and I refuse to drive that far just so Janis can get us in trouble AGAIN.

rather_be_me: why do you people always assume the worst of me

caddy: sorry babe but you've kinda given them a lot to go on

rather_be_me: why is everyone so mean to me

rather_be_me: oh wait this isn't google

gaymian: we should go to regina's!

Reginald: Nope. I'm not making that mistake again.

a-aron: well where else can we go

Reginald: Here's an idea: we could go to one of YOUR houses for once.

rather_be_me: nope my mom is home

caddy: same

gaymian: my house is far too small to fit this many disaster gays

a-aron: my stepdad is home today and he is NOT fond of the gays

sexy-mouse: girl emoji, sick emoji, house emoji!!

gretchthefetch: her sister is home sick

gretchthefetch: and i'm staying w karen so

caddy: wait why are u staying w karen

gretchthefetch: my parents kicked me out

Reginald: WHAT

Reginald: GRETCHEN

gaymian: wow gretch you've shocked the punctuation out of regina

Reginald: HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS

gretchthefetch: sorry i just didn't want it to be a big deal so i asked karen if i could stay w her bc i knew she wouldn't say anything

Reginald: I'm pulling over.

rather_be_me: uh oh

caddy: wow this is the first time regina's yelled at gretchen in over a year

gaymian: is regina crying

a-aron: i think they both are

rather_be_me: ok they're hugging that's a good sign

Reginald: Okay. Sorry for the hold up. We're good now. Where to?

gaymian: um...

gaymian: i think the only place left is the park

a-aron: ugh boring

rather_be_me: going to the park is almost worse than school

caddy:...

gretchthefetch:...

gaymian:...

a-aron:...

caddy: are you guys thinking what i'm thinking?

gaymian: our lives have become so dull that school is our most interesting option?

a-aron: this is a real low point

rather_be_me: this one hurts

gretchthefetch: ok back to school it is i guess

Reginald: I hate all of you.


	21. Chapter 21

disasters, 1:00 am

rather_be_me: hi im bored

caddy: janis...

Reginald: It's one in the morning.

rather_be_me: your point??

Reginald: Well, I'm not sure if you know this, but normal people are asleep at this hour, and therefore are not bored.

rather_be_me: idk sleep sounds kinda boring to me

a-aron: ur awake tho reggie

Reginald: Not for much longer.

rather_be_me: but i'm boreddddddd

rather_be_me: we shld have a conversation

gretchthefetch: i think janis's life goal is to never ever be normal

gaymian: facts

caddy: be nice guys

caddy: what should our conversation be about jan

rather_be_me: idk

rather_be_me: seems like y'all are pretty fond of the "lets make fun of janis" topic tho

caddy: aw we're sorry <333

gaymian: speak for yourself

a-aron: sorry not sorry bout what i said

Reginald: Enough with the Six already. It stopped being funny a long time ago.

a-aron: ouch

gretchthefetch: she ain't wrong

rather_be_me: let's play a game called who here watched hamilton

caddy: you're that bored huh jan?

rather_be_me: yup

gretchthefetch: i did

gaymian: me too

Reginald: I did. Reluctantly.

a-aron: iiii watcheddd ittttt toooooo

rather_be_me: how come no one ever makes fun of aaron for being weird

a-aron: what i'm never ever ever weird

sexy-mouse: side-eye emoji!!

Reginald: Janis if we all promise to make fun of Aaron more often, will you shut up and go to sleep?

rather_be_me: hahahaha good one reggie

sexy-mouse: questioning emoji! ham emoji!!

gretchthefetch: karen WHAT

caddy: what did she say

gretchthefetch: she- she-

rather_be_me: take ur time sweetie

gretchthefetch: she asked what hamilton is

rather_be_me: >:000000

a-aron: I Am Shocked

gaymian: emergency meeting at my house in five minutes. we need to show karen the wonders of lin manuel miranda

gretchthefetch: i thought u said that ur house was too small to fit this many disasters

gaymian: that was yesterday

caddy: r u saying ur house changed size overnight?

gaymian: i'm saying my perspective changed overnight. this is an emergency. the house will have to deal.

Reginald: No, it won't, because as I've already reminded you, IT IS ONE IN THE MORNING.

rather_be_me: oh yeah

gaymian: whoops

caddy: hehe

gaymian: welp

gaymian: see y'all tmrw

Reginald: Tomorrow's Saturday. I don't know how you people function when you don't even know what day it is.

gaymian: i know what day it is reggie

gaymian: but you are all coming over tmrw so that we can deal with this crisis of culture

Reginald: Oh. Right. Obviously.


	22. Chapter 22

disasters, 9:00 am

gaymian: ok yall's hamilton time

a-aron: woah

sexy-mouse: shocked emoji!!!

gretchthefetch: damians up earlier than 11am on a saturday

rather_be_me: this is unprecedented

Reginald: Wow look at that, Janis used a big word.

caddy: regina!!!

rather_be_me: it's too early to start bullying me reggie, u gotta wait till after i've had my coffee or i'll act first and think later

caddy: well i was gonna tell u that you're supposed to be working on not being a bitch but ig janis's thing works too

Reginald: Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Don't attack me.

gaymian: AHEM

gaymian: can we get back to my thing?

Reginald: We can't come over this early, Damian.

gaymian: why not?

Reginald: Because Janis hasn't had her coffee yet.

rather_be_me: aw reggie cares about me

Reginald: I just think that it would be better for everyone involved if Janis is properly caffeinated before we're all cramped in a small space together.

gaymian: solid point

gaymian: but if she has too much caffeine that'll be even worse

Reginald: Okay, how about this: I'll pick everyone up as usual, and we can stop at Starbucks on the way. That way we can moderate Janis's caffiene intake.

rather_be_me: um excuse

rather_be_me: i am not a toddler that needs babysitting

gaymian: debatable

rather_be_me: >:-0000

rather_be_me: JESUS CHRIST

caddy: ???

rather_be_me: WHAT WAS THAT NOISE

Reginald: My car horn. Gretchen and I are outside. Hurry up if you want me to buy you coffee.

gretchthefetch: wow that was the fastest i've ever seen janis move

rather_be_me: i'm easily bought. step on it reggie

Reginald: I'm already regretting this.


	23. Chapter 23

disasters, 9:39 am

gaymian: omg i love this part

gaymian: adiohfeoifeesgkjel the spit omg

gaymian: damn that vibrato tho

gaymian: ooh chills

gaymian: aggressive

gaymian: noooooo poor laurens

gaymian: awwwww

gaymian: OMG

gaymian: hahahahaha

gaymian: look at that face

gaymian: no dont do it alex

gaymian: he did it

gaymian: I Am Disappointed

gaymian: this is so stressful

gaymian: ohh i love this song

gaymian: nooooo philip im crying

gaymian: stop

gaymian: nooooo

gaymian: uh oh

gaymian: elizaaaaaa

gaymian: that ending

gaymian: im shook

gaymian: wow

gaymian: this is the thrid time i've watched this and it gets me every time

Reginald: DAMIAN.

caddy: wow that's a lot of texts

rather_be_me: daaaaamnnnn

gaymian: oh shut up u guys spam all the time

rather_be_me: well at least we're not just one person

gaymian: excuse you

gaymian: i will have you know that my personality is far too big for just one person

Reginald: Well that's for sure

gaymian: i am actually a collection of conciousnesses mashed into one mythical creature that operates on a higher plane of existence than you could possibly imanige

gaymian: so really im more people than everyone in the universe combined

rather_be_me: oh ok that's great

Reginald: That may be easier to believe if you didn't just misspell the word 'imagine'

gaymian: why do i feel like you guys aren't taking this seriously?

caddy: maybe bc we're not?

gaymian: ah

gaymian: i see how it is

gaymian: anyway karen what did u think?

sexy-mouse: caucasian thumbs up!!!

*gretchthefetch is typing*

rahter_be_me: we know what she said gretch

gretchthefetch: rude

rather_be_me: im just stating facts

rather_be_me: btw i love caddy

gaymian: and u need to tell us this because???

rather_be_me: bc i haven't said it yet today

caddy: aw ily too babe <333

gaymian: ok everyone take a moment to appreciate their respective partners

gretchthefetch: ily regina<333

Reginald: I refuse to use emoticons but I love you too Gretchen.

a-aron: ily dam ;-)

gaymian: ily too

sexy-mouse: shrug emoji, heart emoji!!!

rather_be_me: wow this got soft fast

Reginald: I can't decide whether to hate it or love it.

rather_be_me: embrace the love reggie

Reginald: Oh good Lord.

rather_be_me: side note; partners, damian? rly?

gaymian: well what else am i supposed to call it? there's no other gender neutral term

caddy: lovers?

Reginald: Ew.

gretchthefetch: agreed

rather_be_me: u could have just typed out boyfriends/girlfriends damian

gaymian: nah im too lazy

caddy: isn't that what abbreviations are for?

rather_be_me: she makes a good point

gaymian: ok ok everyone stop yelling at me

rather_be_me: now u know how i always feel

gaymian: oh shut up


	24. Chapter 24

disasters, 3:54 pm

gaymian: GUYS

rather_be_me: WHAT

gretchthefetch: oh boy

Reginald: What could possibly be happening now

gaymian: phillip just texted me!!!

Reginald: Well. That definitely wasn't what I was expecting.

caddy: phillip from arts camp?!?

gaymian: yeah

rather_be_me: omg what'd he say?

gaymian: that he wants to talk to me, he wants to meet at starbucks on thursday afternoon

caddy: omg!!! is that good?

gaymian: idk

gaymian: what should i do

rather_be_me: doooo itttttttt

gaymian: someone besides janis tell me what to do

rather_be_me: rude

gaymian: sorry but i feel like ur maybe not the best person to take this kind of advice from

Reginald: He has a point.

rather_be_me: i got myself a gf didn't i

Reginald: No. WE got you a girlfriend.

rather_be_me: oh yeah

gaymian: so??? what should i do???

Reginald: I think you should hear him out. You never know what could happen.

caddy: um, what about aaron?

a-aron: excellent question, cady. what about aaron, damian?

gretchthefetch: uh oh

rather_be_me: damian done messed up

a-aron: did all of you seriously forget about me till now?

rather_be_me: i feel like there's a right answer and a wrong answer here

a-aron: there is

rather_be_me: cool

rather_be_me: what's the right one

a-aron: take a wild guess

caddy: aaron's reaching regina-esque levels of scariness here

a-aron: shut up cady

rather_be_me: WOAH WOAH WOAH

rather_be_me: THERE ARE SOME LINES YOU DON'T CROSS

rather_be_me: AND TELLING MY SWEET WELL-MEANING GF TO SHUT UP IS ONE OF THEM

caddy: jan calm down it's fine he's just upset

a-aron: at least your partner remembers that you exist cady

gaymian: come on aaron i didn't forget about you

a-aron: so you openly talked about meeting up with another guy while still remembering that you ALREADY HAD A BF

rather_be_me: ha! u said there was a right answer but there's not! u done lied aaron

caddy: not now jan

gaymian: aaron i seriously didn't mean it like that, i'm over phillip

a-aron: then why were you just talking about meeting up with him?

gaymian: bc he fucking asked me to and i wasn't sure whether to say yes or not

a-aron: damian, let me clue you in on a little thing called subtext. when a guy you hooked up with over the summer texts you out of the blue asking to meet up, what he's really saying is "hey, i liked it a lot when we fucked. let's do it again".

gaymian: look, i don't know what he wants from me. but this is the first time he's acknowledged me since i trolled his sister, and i think i owe it to myself and to him to at least apologize.

a-aron: well i think you owe it to your boyfriend to not go on a date with your ex

gaymian: IT IS NOT A FUCKING DATE AARON

Reginald: Boys! Enough! Aaron, stop being a clingy bitch. Damian, it's you're choice whether you want to do this or not, but I think you should at least go in knowing that this guy probably wants to get in your pants. Do with that what you will.

gaymian: thanks for you're input, reggie. if you'll excuse me, i'm going to text phillip back

a-aron: fuck you damian

rather_be_me: ah, young love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm a horrible person bc i decided to stir up some drama and then leave y'all hanging for two weeks while i'm away on a trip, don't hate me too much


	25. Chapter 25

what do we do, 4:03 pm

rather_be_me: ok y'alls we need to figure out what to do about the damian and aaron situation

Reginald: What do you mean?

rather_be_me: what do YOU mean

Reginald: Well while I definitely don't like knowing that they're fighting, isn't it their business?

rather_be_me: if it happens on the group chat it's everyone's business

caddy: she has a point

rather_be_me: thank you caddy. now what are we going to do?

gretchthefetch: intercept phillip at starbucks and scare him a little bit?

rather_be_me: hm not a bad idea

rather_be_me: but it won't stop damian from meeting up w him which is why aaron's mad in the first place

Reginald: Well doesn't he have a right to be? Sure he overreacted a little, but I think it makes sense that he doesn't want Damian to meet up with his ex.

rather_be_me: damian means well, it's just that he still feels bad about what happened with phillip and wants to at least try to fix it

Reginald: Still, Aaron's allowed to feel uncomfortable about it.

gretchthefetch: guys c'mon it's bad enough that damian and aaron are fighting, let's not argue about it too

gretchthefetch: can we all at least agree that we want to help the guys resolve this?

Reginald: No, I think we should let them resolve it themselves.

rather_be_me: do u live under a rock? they're way too stubborn to let this go easily

Reginald: That may be so, but it doesn't make it okay for us to meddle.

rather_be_me: you mean the way you meddled when you set me and caddy up?

caddy: boom roasted

Reginald: That was different.

rather_be_me: was it?

gretchthefetch: guys stop, can't we just agree to disagree?

Reginald: Only if Janis promises she won't get involved.

rather_be_me: hm that's weird, i don't seem to recall you being the boss of me

caddy: all in favor of helping damian and aaron?

rather_be_me: aye

caddy: aye

Reginald: Nay

gretchthefetch: sorry guys, gonna have to agree with regina on this

sexy-mouse: caucasian thumbs down!!!

Reginald: So that settles it. We do nothing. Understood, Janis?

rather_be_me: mayyyybeeeee

Reginald: Janis, I mean it.

rather_be_me: sorry mom

Reginald has left the chat

rather_be_me>>>caddy, 4:12 pm

rather_be_me: ok so i know that we took a vote and everything

caddy: jan...

rather_be_me: but i still think we should try to fix the damian aaron sitch

caddy: janis.

rather_be_me: i'm sorry! but he's my best friend, caddy, do you really expect me to just sit around and do nothing?

caddy: no, and i want to help too, but i think that after the convo we just had with everyone else it would cause more problems than it would fix

rather_be_me: but pweeeeeeeaaaassssseee caddyyyyy

caddy:...

caddy: fine

caddy: but u know that if regina finds out she's gonna kill us, right?

rather_be_me: since when have i ever been scared of regina?

caddy: good point.

rather_be_me: you wanna come over and brainstorm?

caddy: i'm already walking up the front steps

rather_be_me: wow it's like u have ESPN or something

caddy: hilarious. now come let me in


	26. Chapter 26

gaymian>>>rather_be_me, 11:08 am

gaymian: janis help

rather_be_me: wot

gaymian: i'm leaving to go meet phillip in an hour

gaymian: idk what to do

gaymian: help

rather_be_me: ur gonna have to be more specific, i woke up like two minutes ago and my brain is having trouble functioning

gaymian: isn't it always?

rather_be_me: i thought u wanted my help

gaymian: i do

rather_be_me: then why are u insulting me :-(((((

gaymian: sorry. i'll stop now. 

rather_be_me: :-))))

gaymian: ok so first of all what do i wear

rather_be_me: THAT'S what you woke me up to ask? pathetic

gaymian: now who's being mean

rather_be_me: i'm allowed to be mean, i'm gay

gaymian: so am i????

rather_be_me: stop bullying me this is homophobia

gaymian: i - you know what, it doesn't matter. just tell me what to wear

rather_be_me: idkaidcesfobiky

gaymian: that's just random letters

rather_be_me: no it's an abbreviation

gaymian: for what

rather_be_me: I Don't Know And I Don't Care Either So Fuck Off Before I Kill You

gaymian: wow, why didn't i guess that

rather_be_me: idk ur just kinda dumb

gaymian: i was being - never mind. we're getting off track

rather_be_me: damian honestly it doesn't matter what you wear

rather_be_me: it doesn't ever really matter what you say or do when you see him

rather_be_me: just show up and be yourself

gaymian: but what if aaron's right and he just wants me for sex?

rather_be_me: oh, that's definitely what he wants

gaymian: thanks, janis

rather_be_me: but you should still go and explain what happened with his sister

rather_be_me: then you can tell him to go fuck himself

gaymian: idk i just don't even know what to think anymore

rather_be_me: it's been like two years since you last saw him, dam. you've texted him to apologize like fifty billion times. all that's left to do is go and explain in person. any problems you still have after that are on him. and if he wants to get back together, you gotta choose what you think is best. just make sure you take all the factors into account.

gaymian: wow that was actually smart, jan

rather_be_me: I SAID NO BULLYING

rather_be_me:THIS IS HOMOPHOBIA

gaymian: i was trying to compliment you, but now i'm kinda regretting it.

rather_be_me: oh

rather_be_me: compliment accepted

rather_be_me: thank you for being a great friend damian

gaymian: oh hi cady

rather_be_me: how did u know???

gaymian: janis isn't that nice

rather_be_me: yeah valid

rather_be_me: EXCUSE

gaymian: hi jan

rather_be_me: THIS IS HOMOPHOBIA

gaymian: bye jan

rather_be_me: my friends are so mean

gaymian: turning off my phone now

rather_be_me: >:-(

rather_be_me: wise choice damian

rather_be_me: stop stealing my phone caddy

gaymian: go talk on your own chat lesbians

rather_be_me: I'M BI

gaymian: phone is going off

rather_be_me: toodlesssss

gaymian: god you guys are weird


	27. Chapter 27

rather_be_me>>>caddy, 11:30am

rather_be_me: u ready to do some meddling

caddy: not rly

caddy: but it's for the greater good so

rather_be_me: that's my girl

caddy: <333

caddy>>>a-aron, 11:32 am

caddy: ok so i know you're mad at damian

a-aron: i don't want to hear it, cady

caddy: come on just hear me out, u don't have to agree with me

a-aron: no

a-aron has blocked caddy

caddy>>>rather_be_me, 11:35 am

caddy: ok jan ur up

rather_be_me: what happened?!?

caddy: screenshot.jpg

rather_be_me: i see

rather_be_me: but if he didn't listen to u he probably won't listen to me

caddy: u never know

caddy: he might be more likely to listen to someone who he doesn't know as well

rather_be_me: that makes no sense

rather_be_me: but i'll try

caddy: that's my girl

rather_be_me>>>a-aron, 11:37am

a-aron: i see u typing don't even try

rather_be_me: come on aaron i'm trying to help

a-aron: no, you're trying to save your friend's ass

rather_be_me: just bc he's my friend doesn't mean i think he's right all the time

rather_be_me: and i get why ur upset, u have every right to be

a-aron: yes i know, i don't need you to tell me that

rather_be_me: okay stop lashing out it's unattractive

a-aron: that's what damian always says

rather_be_me: he loves you ya know

a-aron: does he?

rather_be_me: i've know damian for a long time, and he's never looked at anyone the way he looks at you

rather_be_me: the phillip thing was just kinda traumatic and he wants to get closure

a-aron: yeah i know

a-aron: im still mad tho

rather_be_me: ur totally entitled to that

rather_be_me: just listen with an open mind when he tries to talk it out with u ok

a-aron: u mean if he does

rather_be_me: he will i promise

a-aron: thanks janis

rather_be_me: no problemo

a-aron: can i ask you something

rather_be_me: depends, what's the question

a-aron: how much of that was cady typing

rather_be_me: like half of it

a-aron: thought so

rather_be_me: yeeto


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> suffice to say we do not stan phillip in this house

gaymian>>>rather_be_me, 1:09 pm

gaymian: JANIS HELP

rather_be_me: you already used up you're daily dose of janis assistance today

gaymian: but it's urgent

rather_be_me: sucks to suck doesn't it

gaymian: don't you wanna hear about how it went w phillip

rather_be_me: alright i've changed my mind i'm all ears

gaymian: figured that'd get ur attention

rather_be_me: yeah, yeah, you're basically einstein, just tell me what happened

gaymian: ok so i get to the coffee shop exactly on time, and phillip's not there, so i figure he was just running late and go to get a table. twenty minutes later he finally shows up and spouts some bullshit story about how he had to take his sister to basketball practice, which is obviously not true bc basketball season ended like a billion years ago. i call him out on it and he admits that he was considering not coming. i remind him that he was the one who wanted to meet and he said that he didn't think i'd make such a big deal about it. i told him that of course i was making a big deal, i wanted to apologize for how i'd treated his sister. he said he accepted my apology even tho i technically hadn't apologized yet. then he goes, "so, wanna come back to my house?" and i was like um excuse and he's like yeah aren't we gonna hook up

rather_be_me: am i annoyed on your behalf? yes. am i surprised? not at all

gaymian: yeah. so then i kinda lost it and started yelling about how he couldn't just show up out of the blue after two years and expect me to hook up with him and how "i have a fucking boyfriend you idiot my life doesn't revolve around waiting for you to come back" and long story short we can't go to the starbucks on gresham street anymore

rather_be_me: damn

rather_be_me: good for u tho dam

gaymian: what am i gonna do

rather_be_me: wdym

rather_be_me: u know that phillip is an asshole now, you don't need to worry about him anymore

gaymian: ik but i was awful to aaron and then he ended up being right, how am i gonna apologize to him

rather_be_me: just be honest dam it's not that hard

gaymian: fine

gaymian: will u help me tho

rather_be_me: hmmmmmmmm

gaymian: pleeeeeassseeeee jannnnnisssss

rather_be_me: fine but u owe me ten bucks

gaymian: what? no

rather_be_me: well it was worth a shot

disasters, 1:17 pm

rather_be_me: alright listen up y'alls

Reginald: Oh dear Lord.

rather_be_me: we can't go to the starbucks on gresham anymore

gretchthefetch: awwwww damnit

caddy: why?

Reginald: Yes Janis, what did you do this time?

rather_be_me: it wasn't me!!! it was damian this time

a-aron: oh yay we're talking about him again

rather_be_me: aaron remember what me and caddy told u this morning

a-aron: ......

a-aron: yeah ok

Reginald: Janis, did you or did you not promise not to meddle?

rather_be_me: sorry not sorry

Reginald: I don't know why I bother trying to control you, you just do what you want anyway.

rather_be_me: yeah reggie, it's called having free will

rather_be_me: anyhoo i think damian has something to say to aaron

a-aron: does he now

caddy: aaron.

a-aron: fine, fine

gaymian: um yeah so basically you were all totally right about phillip, he's an asshole. i told him i never want to see him again and then i blocked him. so, i'm really sorry, aaron. you had every right to be upset and i wouldn't listen to you and i hurt your feelings, so i get it if you don't wanna talk to me anymore. but i'll still treat you with dignity

caddy: hey that last part was my line!!!!

gaymian: it's a good line! and i really mean it, aaron, even if you never forgive me i'll still treat you well.

a-aron: .......

a-aron: i forgive you

rather_be_me: woah

gaymian: seriously? just like that?

a-aron: i mean i was only upset cuz i thought you didn't care, but clearly you do, so... yeah. consider yourself forgiven

gaymian: thank you. i love you <333

a-aron: <333

sexy-mouse: happy face emoji!!!!!

gretchthefetch: yay our favorite gays our back!!!!

caddy: um excuse what about me and jan

gretchthefetch: sorry cady damian and aaron are winning rn

rather_be_me: :-(

gaymian: haha sucks to suck doesn't it jan

rather_be_me: oh shut up

rather_be_me: also reggie any time u wanna admit i was right about the meddling would be great

Reginald: I still think it's wrong to force people together.

Reginald: But in this case you may have done the world a favor.

rather_be_me: ok i'll take it

gretchthefetch: so we rly can't go to starbucks anymore, huh?


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii so i know i haven't posted here (or at all) in forever but this convo was too funny not to share. (and yes, i was the janis in this situation)

disasters, 11:21pm

rather_be_me: guys!!! important question!!!!

Reginald: Oh no.

caddy: yes janis?

rather_be_me: where is the best place for the spotter to build his house?

gaymian: i- what?

caddy: ooh i remember that it sucked

caddy: it's either in the middle or one of the corners or something

rather_be_me: caddy!!!! this is not an either or type of question!!! i need a solid answer!!!

gretchthefetch: can someone pls explain what's happening?

caddy: the surfer and the spotter is a math concept where there are two guys, a surfer and a spotter, that are on a island that happens to be shaped like a traingle. the spotter wants to visit each corner of the island to see which is the best, and the surfer wants to do the same with the beaches. they need to build there houses somewhere on the island where they can visit each beach/corner, but no matter where they put their houses they'll have to clear a bunch of shrubbery to get to those places. you have to figure out which is the best and worst place for them to build their houses based on that.

a-aron: i stopped reading after 'math concept' but ok

caddy: jan how long is it from the middle to one of the sides?

rather_be_me: idk where the exact point of the middle is

caddy: good lord. i would say one of the corners for the spotter

rather_be_me: for best or worst???

caddy: best

rather_be_me: ok and what about worst????

caddy: mmmm either in the middle or like anywhere else

rather_be_me: mmmm super helpful thanks

caddy: just figure it out, do whatever makes the most sense in your mind. i believe in u <3333

rather_be_me: thanks

rather_be_me: but i still have no idea what to do

rather_be_me: bc i have to find the exact amount of shrubbery that needs to be cleared and i can't find that if i dont know where exactly the middle is

gaymian: oof

rather_be_me: H

rather_be_me: E

rather_be_me: L

rather_be_me: P

rather_be_me: M

rather_be_me: E

rather_be_me: E

rather_be_me: E

rather_be_me: E

rather_be_me: E

rather_be_me: E

rather_be_me: E

rather_be_me: E

rather_be_me: E

rather_be_me: E

caddy: jan

caddy: chill

rather_be_me: N

rather_be_me: I

rather_be_me: wait crap lemme try that again

rather_be_me: N O

caddy: babe, it's ok. i know how to find the center

rather_be_me: OMG TELL MEEEE

rather_be_me: pwease??

rather_be_me: caddyyyyy

rather_be_me: hurry upppp

caddy: just draw some lines!

rather_be_me: that makes no sense

gaymian: me in any situation

caddy: janis. draw. some. frickin. lines. from. the. corner. to. the. opposite. side.

rather_be_me: how does that help me find the exact center though

Reginald: Good LORD Janis.

caddy: regina, be nice. jan, it doesn't have to be perfect.

rather_be_me: BUT IT DOES

rather_be_me: what if my lines are off

caddy: whatever point the lines meet at is the center

caddy: it'll be ok, just relax

caddy: i can tell u how to bisect an angle if u want

rather_be_me: WHAT IF THEY DON'T MEET

rather_be_me: NO DONT TEACH ME MY BRAIN WILL EXPLODE

caddy: i dont think that even u could fuck it up so bad that they wouldn't meet

rather_be_me: :-0000

caddy: sorry, kidding, i love u <3

rather_be_me: love u too

gaymian: wait guys don't u just find the midpoint thingy

caddy: yeah exactly

rather_be_me: HOW DO I DO THAT

gaymian: you literally just go from the midpoint to the opposite side and that's where they all meet

rather_be_me: those words are having trouble reaching my brain

caddy: do u have a compass

rather_be_me: ....

caddy: a circle maker

rather_be_me: oh! yes

caddy: ok so here's what u gotta do

rather_be_me: WAIT STOP I FIGURED IT OUT

rather_be_me: i'm so smart guys

a-aron: congrats

rather_be_me: maybe i should stop blasting music through my earbuds at 100, that may be part of my problem

Reginald: JANIS.

rather_be_me: sorry!!!

rather_be_me: oh FUCK no

Reginald: What now?

rather_be_me: there's another PART to the problem?!?!?!?

caddy: yeah the surfer

rather_be_me: THE FUCKING SURFER HAS TO HAVE A HOUSE?!?!?! can't he just be homeless????

rather_be_me: CADDY HELP

gaymian: wait lemme try

gaymian: what's the problem again?

rather_be_me: screenshot.jpg

rather_be_me: but actually i think i got it now

gaymian: wait i don't understand what the actual problem is

gaymian: it just gives like a ton of info

rather_be_me: it's the same as the last one but with like perpendicular lines and shit

gaymian: and they're not midpoints

rather_be_me: i

rather_be_me: dont

rather_be_me: know

rather_be_me: what

rather_be_me: a

rather_be_me: fucking

rather_be_me: midpoint

rather_be_me: is

gaymian: it's literally a point in the middle!!!!

rather_be_me: ik!!! i figured it out this time bc im a smart boi

gaymian: u just said u didn't know what it was!!!

rather_be_me: ohhh thats what a midpoint is.... i thought u meant that was the answer to the problem

gaymian: no!!! that point isn't in the middle at all!!!

rather_be_me: ok now you're just being confusing

Reginald: I don't think he could have explained it any clearer.

rather_be_me: WELL IM SORRY I HAVE SMALL BRAIN SYNDROME OK

caddy: not a thing

rather_be_me: HOW DO U KNOW

caddy: jan? babe? may i suggest something?

rather_be_me: yes???

caddy: maybe you should go to bed?

rather_be_me: ahahahaha that's a good one

caddy: i wasnt't- nevermind

caddy: goodnight

rather_be_me: but is it a good night tho?

*caddy has muted the chat*


End file.
